You Call It Orgasmic Meditation …

I call it paying some pervert to watch you finger your girlfriend. Read the whole thing.

OneTaste is an organization founded in 2004, with the goal of fusing spirituality and sexuality, and orgasmic meditation — something of a signature practice — is seen as a way of directly accessing spiritual energy and of breaking through the barriers around sexual contact. The technique is practiced either in a group setting or privately between couples, and is being taught here next month in a series of workshops at the downtown center.

Why stop there? Why not just gather up your hairiest and most out-of-shape friends, make it a group outing and call the producers of “Real Sex.” [Via Gawker]

AmEx Won’t Take Crap from Obama Committee

Woman donates $10,000 to Barack Obama’s Presidential Inaugural Committee using her American Express with the understanding that she’ll get a damn good seat at the inauguration. (I’m not going to question her judgment for the time being.)

Because of massive security screw-ups throughout the day (which I guess the media saw no need to report at the time), she didn’t get anywhere near the event. She requests a refund.

I think we all know the bipartisan answer to the question, “Hey Mr. Politician, can I have my damn money back?” If you’re a little slow on the uptake, the answer is, “Hahahaha. You’re funny. Now how much are planning to give for re-election?”

So she totally pulls a credit-card chargeback. Amex’s response? “No problem. Here’s your ten grand. We’ll deal with those punks down at PIC.”

Now here’s where I question her judgment.

But after it appeared she would be getting a refund this month, Blessman wrote in an email to the Sleuth, “The PIC did what was honorable and acted in a way consistent with the values we personally know the Obamas hold.”

As the WaPo’s Sleuth points out, the PIC had nothing to do with her getting her money back. But whatever. Good to see that American Express will stand up for you even if — nay, especially if — you’re a gullible idiot.

Bird Porn and Other Adventures in Video

Yesterday, I received in the mail the Flip Camera I ordered. We have a decent Sony video camera that we hardly ever use, so it’s not like I needed this thing. But it was basically half price on Woot! and, since it fits in my pocket, I couldn’t pass it up.

Iranian TV: Harry Potter a Devil-Worshipping Jew

You can’t make this stuff up. Harry Potter is one of our front-line soldiers in the “cultural crusader war” to convert Muslim children into, um, Quiditch players?:

Of course, having Israeli intelligence agencies murder the Palestinian Mickey Mouse is totally Kosher. Or Halal, even.

Farfour was replaced by a Bee, who was quickly dispatched by Israeli evil-doing. The bee was replaced by a Jew-eating rabbit.

Specialy Olympian to Obama: Bring It

This is ten thousand pounds of awesome. Barack Obama made a Special Olympics joke last night on Leno. This was win-win for me. Either the King of the We Are Victims Party would get his ass handed to him for being insensitive … or it would be safe once again to make ‘tard jokes.

But it got so much better today. According to TMZ, Kolan McConiughey, a Special Olympics competitor who has bowled three perfect 300 games said of Obama, “He’s cool, but he can’t beat me.”

Yet another win-win. Or possibly a win-win-win. Barack Obama declines the challenge and looks like a wuss. Barack Obama accepts the challenge, does a lot of training and wins, thus making a Special-Needs guy cry. Or Barack Obama accepts the challenge and, even though he’s using those inflatable bumpers in the gutters, STILL loses.

Oh, and don’t look now, but Congress just wiped its ass with the Constitution and threw it out the window. But this is much more amusing.

Man on The Street Quote of the Day

“You don’t just shoot arrows out in the air. You don’t know who’s walking by.”

That was a Bronx woman telling NY1 what she thought after the man responsible for accidentally shooting a church lady in the stomach with an arrow was found and arrested.

Mad As Hell About AIG Bonuses? Then You’re a Chump

Perhaps you’re frog-stomping mad about AIG bonuses. Guess what? You’re being played like a fool by your own government. Congress authorized those bonuses. Barack Obama has known about them for weeks. Indeed, according to Obama’s administration, they were last year’s news. This is all part of theater of the absurd, a massive distraction mean to divert your attention as a bipartisan bunch of clowns who aren’t reading the bills they’re signing and who haven’t read the U.S. Constitution since junior high chip away at the very foundations of this country.

What about Congress’ perks and bonuses? What about the pay raise they voted themselves this year? What about Washington’s complete and blatant disregard for tax laws that would get you or me audited in a heart beat? People who’ve been sucking off the government teat their entire adult lives and have the mathematical abilities of a brain-damaged monkey are trying to work you into a froth while they grab more power and more cash for themselves. They’re piling up massive debts as, under the guise of “stimulus,” they pass through every big government project that had been rejected over and over again for the last 40 years.*

Michael Goodwin, writing in the Daily News, says it best:

The very people, Republicans and Democrats alike, who can’t balance America’s budget now claim the expertise to run banks, insurance companies and automakers.

If we let them, we’re dumber than they are.

Note that a photo of Barney Frank runs with that piece. If any one member of Congress should be dragged out into the street along with execs at AIG for an old-fashioned beating, it’s him. Over and over again he declared nothing wrong with Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Over and over again he resisted Bush administration (remember them?) moves for more oversight and regulation. And now he’s grandstanding? By the way, did you know that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac execs are getting bonuses as well?

As Goodwin writes, “The real outrage is that the bonuses represented a fraction of the $180 billion of public money pumped into AIG without any real oversight.”

Not coincidentally, AIG covered its bases pretty well during election season, spreading the cash around. But guess who the top two recipients of AIG cash were. Go on. Guess. Chris Dodd and Barack Obama. Funnily enough, both Dodd and Obama are blaming each other for inserting the language into the bailout bills that allowed AIG to honor its bonus contracts.

*Gripe all you want about defense spending. At least there I know my tax dollars are going to things that a) keep people employed; b) work as promised (those bombs and planes kill the shit out of people); and c) generally keep insane jihadists busy getting their asses killed in some other part of the world rather than in downtown Manhattan.

Rewrite? Nevermore!

Rewrite. It’s an ugly, ugly word. Anyone who’s been in grad school or part of the journalism industrial complex knows the power of that word to strike fear into the heart. Rewrite. Then rewrite again. And again. A guy who went to grad school with me … hold on, Googling … this guy, Joe Camhi, wrote a horror poem, in the style of The Raven, in which a grad student’s dissertation adviser sent the student back for rewrite “ever more!”

So you’ll understand my elation when I got the following email from my editor at Kensington Books.

All of the revisions are great, and everything works and looks smooth to me. If not, the copyeditor will catch it. So I’m putting through for the acceptance payment, and the next step will be copyedits in a couple months.

Woohoo. I’m done with The First Annual Grand Prairie Rabbit Festival. Well, except for battling with the copy editors (I was once a copy editor, though you wouldn’t know it by my typos). And picking the cover. And the author’s photo. And trying to drum up sales. And worrying that no one will review it. Then worrying that the people who review it are going to hate it. Then worrying no one will buy it.

But other than that, I’m done with the writing bit! And I’m getting paid again.

Though that little bit of money isn’t going to make up for the 10% cut in salary we took at the day job yesterday. Ah, well. such is life.

Now, back to the next book. I’m halfway done with that first draft. Sweet.

Remember My Idea to Buy Detroit?

Last month, I proposed snatching up 60 or 70 houses in Detroit with the money we’re planning to spend on a two-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn. Guess what? A bunch of artists are buying up the town.

Buying that first house had a snowball effect. Almost immediately, Mitch and Gina bought two adjacent lots for even less and, with the help of friends and local youngsters, dug in a garden. Then they bought the house next door for $500, reselling it to a pair of local artists for a $50 profit. When they heard about the $100 place down the street, they called their friends Jon and Sarah.

Admittedly, the $100 home needed some work, a hole patched, some windows replaced. But Mitch plans to connect their home to his mini-green grid and a neighborhood is slowly coming together.

God Knows What Prompted This

Sign in the 47th Street YMCA Men’s Locker Room: “Water fountain is for drinking only.”

Ever wonder what sort of behavior prompts these sorts of signs? Like, what the HELL, was someone doing in that water fountain? “Hey, you! That’s not a bidet!”